Safety Planning Checklist for Leaving an Abusive Marriage

Why you need a safety plan

A safety plan sets out where you will go, what you will take and how you will stay safe when you leave. Having it ready lowers the risk and helps you act.

The time of leaving can be one of the most dangerous. An abuser may become more violent when they sense they are losing control, so your plan should allow for that.

Keep your plan private. Do not share details with anyone who might tell the abuser. Keep documents and the plan where the abuser cannot reach them.

Documents to secure

Keep originals or copies somewhere safe outside the home, such as with a trusted friend or in a bank safe deposit box:

• MyKad, passport, marriage certificate and children’s birth certificates.
• Any court orders, including protection orders.
• Bank statements, property documents, EPF statements, insurance policies and details of your spouse’s income. You will need these for financial disclosure and property division in the divorce.
• Evidence of abuse: photos of injuries, medical reports, police reports and threatening messages. This evidence matters for a protection order and the divorce.

Where to go for safety

Decide on a safe place before you leave: a relative’s or friend’s home, or a shelter run by a group such as the Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO). Some shelters offer temporary housing, counselling and legal referrals.

If you are in immediate danger, call the police at 999 or Talian Kasih at 15999. The police can help you get to safety and help you obtain an emergency protection order. Call as soon as you feel threatened.

Plan your way out in advance: which exits to use and how you will travel. If you can, keep an emergency bag ready with clothes, medication, cash and your documents.

Protecting your children

If your children are at risk, include them in your plan. Tell their school what is happening, give the school a copy of any protection order, and ask it not to release the children to the abuser without your consent.

Apply to the court for an interim custody order. It confirms your right to have the children with you and protects against the abuser taking them. Your lawyer can file it urgently if needed.

Talk to your children in a way that suits their age. Tell them they are safe and that it is not their fault. If they are old enough, teach them how to call for help and where to go in an emergency.

Legal protection available

Under the Domestic Violence Act 1994, a protection order can stop the abuser contacting or approaching you, and can keep them out of the family home. Breaching it is a criminal offence.

An interim protection order (IPO) gives immediate protection while the full application is dealt with. In urgent cases it can be obtained within a day.

You can seek a protection order alongside the divorce or on its own. You do not need to file for divorce first. Our safety planning guide explains the steps.

What to do now

Start your plan today, even if you are not ready to leave yet. Secure your documents, choose a safe place and contact a support group. WAO can be reached at 03-3000 8858 for confidential advice.

Speak to a family lawyer with experience of domestic violence cases about a protection order, divorce and custody.

Looking to engage a divorce lawyer? Once you are safe and want to understand your options, request independent lawyer contact via WhatsApp: Request Lawyer Contact. For general information, use our guides and tools.