Unreasonable Behaviour as a Ground for Divorce

What does the law say?

Under Section 53 of the Law Reform (Marriage and Divorce) Act 1976, the only ground for divorce is that the marriage has broken down for good. Section 54(1)(b) gives one way to prove it: your spouse has behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with them.

The court looks at both your spouse’s conduct and its effect on you. It asks whether someone in your position, with your character and circumstances, could reasonably be expected to keep living with them. So it judges your marriage, not a general standard.

What kind of behaviour can count?

The Act gives no fixed list. Courts have considered, for example:

• physical violence or threats
• persistent verbal abuse or emotional cruelty
• habitual heavy drinking or drug use
• refusing to consummate the marriage
• financial irresponsibility, gambling that hurts the family, or refusing to pay household costs when able to
• constant unreasonable jealousy or controlling behaviour that cuts you off from family and friends
• neglecting duties as a spouse or parent

One very serious incident may be enough. More often, the court looks at a pattern over time.

How does the court decide?

The court looks at all the behaviour together and its combined effect on you. Small incidents that seem minor alone can matter when they form a pattern.

It may also ask how you reacted. If you put up with the behaviour for years without complaint, the court may question how unbearable it was. But the court also understands that many people endure difficult behaviour for a long time before they reach breaking point.

What evidence helps?

Evidence matters most when the divorce is contested. The court needs proof, not just allegations. Useful evidence includes:

• police reports of violence or threats
• medical reports of injuries or psychological harm
• messages, emails or social media posts showing abuse
• statements from family, friends or neighbours who saw what happened
• financial records showing reckless spending or support being withheld

Keep a record of each incident: the date, time, what happened and who saw it. Photos of injuries or damage can be strong evidence. Records from a counsellor you saw because of your spouse’s behaviour may also help.

What happens after you file?

Your spouse is served with the petition and can respond. If they file an answer disputing your claims, the divorce becomes contested.

At the hearing, both sides give evidence. You must prove your case on the balance of probabilities, which means “more likely than not”.

If the court is satisfied, it grants a decree nisi (a provisional decree). This can be made absolute (final) after three months, on application.

Custody, maintenance and division of assets are also dealt with. How long the whole process takes depends on how complex the case is.

How can you protect yourself and your children?

If you or your children are in danger, your safety comes first. You can apply for a protection order under the Domestic Violence Act 1994, which runs separately from the divorce. Make a police report each time something happens.

If you have children, the court’s main concern is their welfare. You can also apply for interim (temporary) custody and maintenance orders while the case goes on.

For how this ground fits with the others, see our guide to grounds for divorce.

Looking to engage a divorce lawyer? If you are unsure whether your spouse’s behaviour is enough, or what evidence you would need, request independent lawyer contact via WhatsApp: Request Lawyer Contact. For general information, use our guides and tools.